Why the Best Evidence Isn't Always the Most Dramatic

I once worked with a woman who had come hoping to hear from her father, a man who'd built and sold small businesses his whole life, sharp, successful, larger than life in almost every way. What came through instead, near the end of the reading, wasn't anything about his career or his accomplishments. It was a memory of him standing at the stove on Saturday mornings, badly burning scrambled eggs and insisting, every single time, that they were "just how he liked them."

She started laughing before she could stop herself. Then she started crying. That small, slightly ridiculous memory meant more to her than any of the more impressive details that had come through earlier in the reading, details about his business, his awards, the things most people would think to mention if they were trying to prove who he was.

I've seen this happen more times than I can count. People often arrive expecting evidence to sound impressive, something specific and dramatic enough to leave no room for doubt. And sometimes it does look like that. But just as often, the detail that lands hardest is something almost embarrassingly small. A phrase only they used. A ridiculous nickname. A habit no one else in the family would have thought to mention because it never seemed important enough to bring up.

I think that makes perfect sense once you think about it. The big, impressive facts about a person, their job, their achievements, their public reputation, are often things a stranger could learn without ever having known them personally. But burned eggs on a Saturday morning, said with total sincerity for thirty years? That belongs only to the people who lived inside that relationship. Nobody could guess it. Nobody could fake it. It could only come from someone who was actually there.

That's part of why I've stopped measuring the strength of a reading by how dramatic it sounds. The evidence that means the most isn't usually the evidence that would impress an outside observer. It's the evidence that makes the person across from me stop breathing for a second, because they instantly know, without a doubt, that only one person in the world could have said that.

If you're preparing for your own reading, I'd encourage you to let go of any expectation that the proof needs to sound remarkable to be real. Sometimes the smallest, silliest detail is the loudest confirmation of all, because it could only ever have come from someone who truly knew you, and whom you truly knew in return.

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Continue Reading? You might also enjoy Why a Medium Doesn't Tell You Everything You Want to Hear, where I talk more about how evidence unfolds during a reading, and why it doesn't always arrive the way we expect.

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