When Loved Ones Help Us Find Purpose After Loss

When Loved Ones Help Us Find Purpose After Loss

Grief has a way of hollowing us out, leaving us wondering who we are without the one we lost. But over time, Spirit often helps us refill that space with meaning. They gently guide us toward purpose—not to replace them, but to expand through them.

Clarissa came to me after her sister’s sudden passing. “I can’t move on,” she said. “Nothing feels important anymore.” As her sister’s energy came through, she showed me an image of hands comforting others. “She’s meant to help people heal,” the sister said. Clarissa gasped—she had just started volunteering at a trauma support center. “That’s me,” she whispered. “I thought it was coincidence.”

Spirit confirmed what her soul already knew — she was turning her pain into light. Her sister added, “That’s how we stay connected. Every time you help someone, I’m there.”

I’ve witnessed this so many times: parents who start foundations, spouses who write books, friends who dedicate their lives to kindness — all inspired by messages from Spirit. Loss cracks us open, but through those cracks, light gets in.

My son's passing is what led me into mediumship. I know the feeling and healing that comes from having a reading. I want to continue sharing that with others in need.

Our loved ones don’t want our lives to stop when theirs change form. They want us to grow in ways that honor them. They remind us that death ends a life, not a relationship. The relationship simply evolves into one of guidance, inspiration, and love that works behind the scenes.

What if the roles were reversed? What if it was you who passed first-would you want those in the flesh to stop living their lives? To stop having fun and laughter? No. You'd want them to continue living life to the fullest. Finishing the lessons they came here to learn. 

So if you’ve ever felt nudged toward something meaningful since your loss — a new passion, a cause, a project — consider that it may not be random. It may be Spirit gently steering you toward your next chapter.

If you’d like to hear what your loved one sees for you now — how they’re helping you move forward with purpose — I’d be honored to share that conversation with you. Schedule your session at aperfectsoul.com.

There Is No Wrong Time in the Spirit World

One of the most common questions I hear is this:

“Is it too soon to connect with them?”
Closely followed by:
“Did I wait too long?”

Grief makes us second-guess timing. Spirit doesn’t.

When someone we love passes, time becomes strange. Days drag. Years blur. We assume there must be a right window. A moment when connection is possible. A moment when it closes.

That isn’t how it works.

Spirit doesn’t experience time the way we do. There is no expiration date on love, memory, or relationship. I’ve connected with loved ones who passed weeks ago and others who passed decades ago. The quality of connection doesn’t weaken with time.

What does change is us.

Early grief can be loud. Heavy. Overwhelming. Not wrong. Just loud. In those early days, some people feel desperate to connect. Others can’t imagine opening that door yet.

Both are okay.

Spirit is patient. They don’t rush. They don’t take it personally. They meet us where we are, not where we think we should be.

If you’re feeling drawn now, that’s enough. If you weren’t ready before, that doesn’t mean you missed anything. Love doesn’t operate on deadlines.

There is no “too soon.”
There is no “too late.”

There is only readiness. And that looks different for everyone.

Skepticism Didn’t Block My Connection. It Helped Me Understand It

I need to clear something up.

I already believed in the afterlife when my son passed. I had spent years around spiritual communities. I had friends who were psychic, friends who were mediums, and even friends who channeled other entities. None of that felt strange to me.

What was unfamiliar was how personal this suddenly became.

Belief is one thing. Wanting to connect with your own child is another.

In the beginning, I assumed connection would sound the way it did in life. A voice. A sentence. Something spoken. Clear and unmistakable.

That isn’t how it works. At least, not for most people.

Spirit communication is quieter than that. It’s more like a thought that arrives already formed. Not something you think up, but something that appears in you. Whole. Specific. Unmistakably not yours.

At first, I questioned that. A lot.

Grief can blur perception, and I wasn’t interested in comforting illusions. I wanted to understand what was actually happening. So I stayed grounded. I learned. I trained. I paid close attention to how information arrived and what made it reliable. I had great teachers who helped and still help me along my journey.

What I noticed was this. The more I stayed calm and discerning, the clearer things became. The more I resisted filling in blanks, the stronger the evidence was.

That’s when I realized skepticism isn’t a block. It’s a filter.

Evidential mediumship doesn’t ask you to suspend intelligence. It asks you to notice the difference between imagination and reception. Between emotion and information.

And that difference matters, especially when someone is grieving.

Spirit doesn’t argue with doubt. It doesn’t demand belief. It offers information. Names. Personalities. Details that don’t require faith, only recognition.

You don’t need to be endlessly open or spiritually fluent. You just need to be present and honest about what you’re perceiving.

Belief didn’t make the connection real for me.
Understanding how it worked did.

When Spirit Visits Through Nature

When Spirit Visits Through Nature

The natural world is alive with Spirit’s energy. From the flutter of wings to the rustle of leaves, Spirit often uses nature to speak because it’s one of the purest forms of communication. The earth listens, and so should we.

A woman named Sonia once told me she began seeing owls everywhere after her husband passed. “They’re carved into our wedding rings,” she said softly. “Now I see them on billboards, coffee cups, and in the trees outside my window.” During her session, her husband came through saying, “That’s me. The owls are how you’ll know I’m near.”

That one message transformed her grief. The signs hadn’t been coincidences — they were conversations.

A few days after my son's passing my husband and I were in our community dog park with my two greyhounds.  We were the only two there. Suddenly a hawk appeared overhead about 3' above me.  It flew around and around for about 20 minutes. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was my son letting me know he was flying free now. It was one of the most memorable moments for me.

Nature acts as a bridge between dimensions because it vibrates with life energy. I’ve seen cardinals appear during moments of deep sorrow, dragonflies hover during memorials, and sudden breezes blow through still rooms when someone speaks a loved one’s name. Spirit weaves their presence through all of it.

These signs aren’t just symbols — they’re sacred synchronizations. They remind us that love doesn’t vanish when the body does; it continues to move through creation itself.

If you’ve been noticing recurring animals, plants, or natural patterns, take a moment to acknowledge them. Speak out loud, “I see you.” You may feel a warmth or tingling in response. That’s connection.

Your loved one may be using nature to whisper, “I never left.” And if you’d like help understanding what those signs mean for you personally, I’d be honored to help. Visit aperfectsoul.com to schedule a reading.

When Spirit Brings Validation Through Emotion

When Spirit Brings Validation Through Emotion

Sometimes, the most powerful evidence of Spirit isn’t what’s said — it’s what’s felt. Words can be misheard or forgotten, but feelings leave no doubt. When Spirit draws close, the energy of love itself becomes the language.

A woman named Clara once came to a session hoping to hear from her grandmother. As soon as the connection began, an overwhelming sense of peace washed through the room — a familiar warmth that made us both tear up. “That’s exactly how I felt when she held me,” Clara whispered. Spirit didn’t need words. The emotion itself was the proof.

Emotion is Spirit’s frequency. They communicate through feeling because it bypasses logic and speaks directly to the soul. You might suddenly feel warmth in your chest, tears that arise without sadness, or laughter bubbling up from nowhere. These sensations aren’t random; they’re energetic signatures of love.

I’ve had sitters describe feeling their loved one’s hand on their shoulder or the sensation of a hug when no one else was there. These moments leave people stunned — not frightened, but profoundly moved. It’s as though the invisible becomes tangible for just a heartbeat.

Spirit’s goal is not to convince the mind, but to awaken the heart. Emotion is how they do it. It’s the one language that transcends both realms.

So if you’ve ever felt your loved one’s presence out of the blue and thought, that’s strange, trust the feeling. That wave of love, that sudden stillness — it’s their hello.

If you’d like to experience these emotional validations in a reading or learn to recognize them in your daily life, I’d be honored to guide you. Schedule a session at aperfectsoul.com.

How Spirit Uses Technology to Get Our Attention

How Spirit Uses Technology to Get Our Attention

Spirit adapts with the times. Decades ago, they flickered candles or moved clocks; now, they might light up your phone or shuffle your playlist to “your song” at the perfect moment. Love doesn’t resist technology—it uses it.

One of my sitters, a young man named Josh, shared a story that still gives me goosebumps. His brother had passed suddenly, and one morning, Josh woke up to find his brother’s photo as the wallpaper on his phone. “I never set that,” he said. “It just appeared.” During his reading, his brother laughed, “I told him to stop ignoring me! This got his attention.” That sense of humor, that spark of personality—it was exactly who his brother had been in life.

Spirit communicates through energy, and technology is simply another form of it. I’ve heard countless stories: alarm clocks ringing at the moment a loved one is mentioned, smart speakers turning on to play a song that holds deep meaning, text messages that inexplicably reappear from years ago.

My son has come to me through a song that I associate only with him. He's also turned lights off and on. One time I received an Instagram message that was clearly directed to his account notifying him that one of his friends had joined Instagram, yet it showed up in my account!!

Skeptics may dismiss it as coincidence, but those who experience it know it feels different. There’s an unmistakable feeling—a sacred “knowing” that something beyond logic has occurred. It isn't your imagination either! It's really them reaching out to you.

Spirit uses what’s available, meeting us where we live our modern lives. They don’t need words or physical presence to say, “I’m still here.” They’ll use light, electricity, code, or sound if it helps remind us that love is eternal.

If you’ve experienced strange “glitches” that felt more like grace than error, consider that Spirit may be speaking your digital language. And if you’d like to explore that connection more deeply, I’d love to help you understand the message behind the signs. Visit aperfectsoul.com to schedule a session.

When Spirit Helps Us Forgive Ourselves

When Spirit Helps Us Forgive Ourselves

Forgiveness is often the hardest part of grief. We might forgive others with time, but when it comes to ourselves, we seem to resist. Our mind replays every decision, every word left unsaid, every perceived mistake. Yet, in Spirit’s eyes, love was always enough.

One woman, Theresa, came to me after losing her sister to cancer. She wept as she shared, “I convinced her to try one more treatment. It made her sicker. I can’t forgive myself.” As soon as her sister’s presence filled the space, I felt only gratitude radiating from her. “Tell her she gave me time,” she said. “Because of her, I was able to say goodbye.”

When I spoke those words, Theresa’s tears changed from pain to release. What she carried as guilt, her sister carried as grace. This is something I’ve witnessed time and again—Spirit helping the living lay down burdens they were never meant to hold.

From the higher perspective of the spirit world, our loved ones see the truth without distortion. They see intention, not just action. They see love behind decisions that may have caused pain. And they see how deeply we’ve suffered thinking we failed them.

One time when my son came through it was to tell me that he understood now that everything I did or said to him was out of love. I felt that instant release of guilt and shame and felt the love he was pouring out to me. I forgave myself too.

Forgiveness from Spirit isn’t about excusing what happened—it’s about understanding that human love is always imperfect and yet still divine. They remind us that we did the best we could with what we knew at the time.

If you’ve been holding on to regret, please know your loved one is already at peace. They’re not waiting for an apology—they’re waiting for you to free yourself.

You don’t have to carry guilt alone. Spirit’s compassion reaches across every boundary, and I’d be honored to help you feel it directly. Schedule a reading through aperfectsoul.com.

The Healing Power of Shared Memories

The Healing Power of Shared Memories

Spirit has a remarkable way of bringing up the smallest, most ordinary moments — the ones that slip through the cracks of our memory but still hold immense meaning. It might be a burned dinner, a favorite song on a car ride, or the sound of laughter echoing through a kitchen long ago. These aren’t random details; they’re proof that love lingers in the quiet places.

During a recent session with a woman named Marylou her husband shared a memory of them taking an Alaskan cruise and the whales that showed up.  She was stunned and then elaborated on how they'd taken an excursion from the ship out on a small boat out. The captain exclaimed that he'd never seen so many whales breach the water at one time. It was an exhilarating experience for Marylou and her husband.

That one memory, resurrected decades later, opened a doorway of connection wider than any grand statement could. The message wasn’t about the whales—it was about love in action, love expressed through care, through the desire to give. Spirit knows that when they bring up those specific memories, they’re not just proving survival—they’re reigniting the feeling of being seen, cherished, and remembered.

I’ve found that the most healing readings often come through the simplest details. A father reminding his daughter about the time they danced in the kitchen to old country music. A grandmother recalling the scent of gardenias in her hair. A friend mentioning the inside joke that only the two of you ever understood.

Spirit knows we find comfort in the ordinary. They show us that what we considered “everyday life” was actually sacred all along. Those memories remind us that connection didn’t end—it simply changed form.

If you’ve been longing to feel your loved one near, to relive the warmth of those small but powerful moments, I’d be honored to help you reconnect. Schedule a session through aperfectsoul.com.

Why Some Spirits Come Through First

Why Some Spirits Come Through First

When a loved one passes, we naturally want them to be the one who shows up in a reading. But sometimes, someone else steps forward first—a relative we weren’t expecting, or even someone we barely knew. It’s not random. Spirit has a divine order in their timing.

In one session, a woman named Lila came hoping to hear from her husband. Instead, her late father-in-law appeared. She looked surprised but listened. He said, “Tell her I was there when he crossed.” A few minutes later, her husband’s energy emerged—strong, peaceful, radiant. The father-in-law had simply opened the door, preparing her heart for what came next.

Sometimes the spirit that comes through is the one who has the exact right message in the moment for you.

Spirit communication often follows energetic logic, not emotional expectation. Those who arrive first are usually the ones best able to bridge energy or ease tension. It’s never a sign your loved one can’t come through—only that love has layers.

If you’ve ever had a reading where someone unexpected appeared, consider that Spirit always works with intention. I’d love to help you discover why certain souls step forward first. You can book a session at aperfectsoul.com.

When Children in Spirit Reach Out

When Children in Spirit Reach Out

Few losses cut deeper than the passing of a child. The pain defies logic, the questions have no easy answers. Yet, I’ve witnessed again and again that children’s souls are radiant in Spirit—joyful, playful, and eager to comfort their families.

One mother, Emily, came to me after losing her 7-year-old son to illness. During her reading, he showed me a picture he’d drawn—a rainbow over their house. She gasped, “That was the last picture he ever made.” He then said, “Mom, I run faster now.”

That one line shattered her grief wide open into light. She said afterward, “For the first time since he passed, I felt peace.”

Children in Spirit often bring laughter, colors, and playful energy. They remind us that their essence remains childlike—free and loving. Their visits are never to remind you of pain, but to remind you that the connection continues in joy.

Note-You will never stop missing your child nor will you ever forget them. They do want you to move on with your life just as they are moving forward with theirs.

I know that every time my son speaks to me through another medium it feels wonderful to hear from him in that way. I do speak with him as well. It just feels different when it's coming from another medium. It's been 10 years since his passing.

If you’ve lost a child and long to feel that connection again, know that their light has never dimmed. I would be honored to help you reconnect at aperfectsoul.com.

When Guilt Lingers After Loss

When Guilt Lingers After Loss

Grief is heavy enough—but when guilt joins it, it becomes almost unbearable. “I should have done more.” “I wish I’d said something.” These are the quiet tortures that keep so many people from healing. But Spirit consistently shows us that love, not regret, is what they carry with them.

During a session with a woman named Janine, her brother came through after a sudden accident. She wept, “I should have called him that day.” His energy wrapped around her like a soft blanket as he said, “You couldn’t have known. I did feel your love—it never stopped.”
What Janine needed wasn’t forgiveness from him—it was permission to forgive herself.

Forgiving yourself is critical in being able to move forward with your life. When my son passed away I had tremendous guilt over things I wished I had said or done differently. What I reminded myself of is that in every given moment I was doing the best I could and so was he. I let myself off the hook for things I couldn't change and chose to move forward instead. 

Spirit often reminds us that from their perspective, the “what-ifs” don’t matter. The only thing that endures is the bond of love, and that’s never severed by human mistakes or timing.

If guilt has been a silent companion in your grief, know that your loved one wants you to lay it down. Their peace is already complete—they’re waiting for yours to join them. To receive that reassurance for yourself, you can schedule a reading through aperfectsoul.com.